“The Divide” Review

Danimal May 26, 2012 3
“The Divide” Review

Director: Xavier Gens

Writers: Karl Mueller, Eron Sheean

Stars: Lauren German, Michael Biehn and Milo Ventimiglia

By: Danimal

I like a lot of movies, I can suspend my disbelief pretty easily and transport myself into a world of entertaining fantasy lands and non-fiction stories of human triumph or loss.  “The Divide” doesn’t work.

The premise is simple.  Lock 8 characters together in a basement fallout shelter.  Add crazy egos, lack of supplies and a few other variables in the mix, shake and serve over ice. There is an immediate breakdown once we seal ourselves into the fallout shelter.  Mickey, the rough ex-firefighter who worked 9-11, has made this shelter under the building he supervises.  He takes immediate control, explains the need to ration food, it’s his location, his rules, and most people can logically agree to these terms.

But the soap opera looking brothers locked in this movie are not okay with this.  They immediately try going back into the destroyed building to play in the radioactive dust before they have even had a meal in the shelter.  From that low benchmark of ‘good decision making’ the film circles the drain and eventually falls into the crapper…. Literally.

The film takes a couple turns, some of them better than others, but the best are the ones that have no explanation.  An unidentified team of heavily armed and suited up men, cut open the door to the shelter and takes the little girl, harass the survivors until they team up and take down two of the men.  The costumes are awesome and totally unexpected for this movie.  I was expecting a Lord of the Flies, with no outside contact until the very end when most of the originals had created a working relationship.  Nope, not for The Divide; The Divide gives humanity a really shity shake on the big screen.

The Divide sends a few more curve balls when the survivors send one of their own out the door in the protective and never affiliated suit.  The organization has created an awesome set and with the disguise our hero gets pretty far outside to clumsily fail and shoot a baddy and then scamper home to the shelter.  I would have loved if they could keep exploring this world, because the world of the shelter is so very terrible… big sigh! they get welded in by the bad guys with guns.  Looks like we are trapped in for the long haul… let the melt downs commence.

I don’t like turning movies off.  I don’t start one unless I know I can finish the whole thing.  But damn, this movie takes a few characters a hand full of days to completely go barbaric.  They have supplies, lights, companionship, books, movies and still go more primal than Predator. So for you, the reader’s, sake I will press on.  I press play and immediately regret entering this world again.  Mickey has been holding out on the rest of the group.  His poorly hidden panic room contains even more food and water.  Perfect reason to go bat shit and start cutting off fingers.

After this stash is discovered, the descent of man takes a dive sharper than Lehmen Brothers.  How did I pick two movies in two weeks that showcase a woman getting raped to death?  Poor life decisions I guess.  This is probably the best part though, the characters are all at their level worst and it is a gross look at the potential for human depredation.

So my advice to you, avoid “The Divide.”  Poor acting and a script with less depth than a kiddy pool leaves the viewer speechless and wanting to leave the premise…

3 Comments »

  1. Jon May 26, 2012 at 10:03 pm - Reply

    Yikes! Glad you reviewed this one so I didn’t have to!

  2. jason May 26, 2012 at 10:20 pm - Reply

    Agreed. Thank you Danimal.

  3. Danimal May 27, 2012 at 3:30 pm - Reply

    taking one for the team i guess…My pleasure. At least this movie didn’t have monks with boners. THAT was a mistake.

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