jason November 28, 2011 0


The only reason you should watch “Human Centipede 2” is so you can say “I have seen Human Cetipede 2.” But you’ll have to sit through the entire thing. Pretending to go to the bathroom to avoid the disgusting scenes will negate your bragging rights. Plus, you’ll miss the last half hour of the movie.

“Human Centipede 2” is not a true sequel to the first “Human Centipede.” It takes place in a separate universe for “The Human Centipede” only exist as film in this movie. You could probably watch “2” on its own and not be confused…well…you’ll be confused, but not because your missing anything from the first one.

“Human Centipede 2” stars Laurance R. Harvey as Martin. Martin is a disturbed and quiet individual and the entire movie is in his perspective. He works in a parking garage, and fills his days by watching the first “Human Centipede,” masturbating with sandpaper, working on his Human Centipede scrap book, and kidnapping random civilians.  He is so infatuated by the first “Human Centipede” that he dreams of creating his own centipede, but with twelve people. He even goes so far as to find Ashlynn Yennie, the star of the first movie. She plays herself and must have an excellent PSTD counselor because I can’t imagine an actor coming back to be apart of another centipede.

Martin was apparently sexually and physically abused by his father as a child. He’s in prison now, and they never say, but I’m assuming it’s for raping Martin. Martin currently lives with his disturbed mother, but she’s just sensible enough to higher a psychiatrist for Martin. The big bearded psychiatrist is a character that seems to have been written with no psychology research involved. I think it’s on purpose, for every word he says is bordering on hilarious. When Martin is not dealing with his mother, he is whacking folks over the head and tying them up in a storage facility.

When he finally collects twelve, he takes the day off work, grabs his best jagged tools, kills his mother, and heads over to his storage facility for one of the most uncomfortable third acts in film.  The villain in the first “Human Centipede” was an actual doctor so he had the proper tools, knowledge, and anesthesia to actually perform such an operation. Martin probably has a below Forest Gump level I.Q. and his tools are kitchen utensils, a staple gun, a crowbar as anesthesia, and lots and lots of duct tape.

The last half hour is brutal. It’s full of blood, feces, and regret. Have you ever had a friend of yours yell “Hey” and then when you looked he was showing you his dick and balls for his own amusement?  I kind of feel like Tom Six did the same thing with his audience. He made a movie so ridiculous and grotesque that you can’t help but take a peak. He made the cinematic equivalent of a car crash.

You will hit a wall though. The brutality becomes so excessive that you’ll build a general callous towards gore. The pregnant woman scene will come off as goofy rather than horrifying. For all it’s short comings, it will tell you a lot about yourself.  After “Human Centipede 2” you should be able watch about anything as long its not a Jennifer Aniston romantic comedy.

For how useless this movie seems to me, it does have some genuine artistic integrity in its performances. Lawrence R. Harvey portrays Martin in such a way that you know exactly what he’s thinking at all times. He has a child like quality, but his willingness to perform such abysmal acts, with all his focus, is nothing short of impressive. I hope he gets a role where he speaks and doesn’t have to staple people’s anuses to others’ mouths. Ashlynn Yennie plays herself, but is subjected to being the front of the centipede. She acts accordingly and has a shocking air of confidence when she decides to fight back.

Overall, if you’re a gore hound, hell yeah, watch “Human Hentipede 2.”  You’ll get your fill for cinematic atrocities. If you need a bit of substance to go along with your violence, then this movie may just be aggravating. “Oldboy,” “I Saw the Devil,” “Devil’s Rejects,” or even “AntiChrist” is what your looking for. But if you don’t see, you won’t be able to say you did. That’s a weird sentence.

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